In Dating & Relationships Articles
Date: 07/04/2009
So as you might have noticed in my blogs I will sometimes mention an "event that occurred recently in my life." To come out and be completely honest, that event was, in short, me finding out my boyfriend would watch porn every day. This included mornings before I'd come to see him. Now, this was probably enlarged by he fact that he would tell me "I haven't touched that in AGES, I don't need it when I have you" -> lie. I know that many couples, males, and females, now embrace and accept porn in their relationships and personal lives, but I would like to share what other effects it could have and what happened to me: My first thoughts were - You lied to me, why did you lie to me? and you were hiding things from me. At first I was confused whether to be angry or not. I knew I shouldn't be because it's supposed to be normal but I DID know that lying to me in general was wrong, so I questioned it. He denied it (maybe a bit shameful) and ignored me when I confronted him. It felt as is he had put it before me because within his busy schedule(going to school and work full time) he managed to give time to that when I got 10 minute phone calls and an "I'm tired now" or "I'm busy". I felt unimportant and as if those things were better than I was which led to... I saw what you've seen. How can I compete? I'm not your type. Why would you want me? I looked through what he looked at and it was typical. Big fake chests, skimpy outfits, tanned skin, long hair, lots of makeup - sexy, slutty women...while he would always tell me he liked the opposite and that was why he liked me, but if this was what got him going then why would he ever find me desirable? Plus I'm up against not one woman, but millions. Again I felt lied to and even worse, as if I wasn't attractive and no one would ever love me because all men seemed to chase the same images. Would he Google search for a girl like me who's plain? So then I realized it was beginning to feel like.. You aren't loyal and will let me go when you find your ideal; you practically cheated on me or you will cheat on me I was both sad and angry. If even though he is with me he could felt that certain way or *ahem* do those certain things to images or videos of someone else what does that mean about all the other women he meets? does he find them attractive too? will he think about them in that way? Even during the argument he said without thinking "well of course some people are more attractive than others but I just don't say it out loud". Even if it does sound like a fantasy I wanted to believe that the one your with is the one you think is better than the rest, that's why you're with them, and that intimacy like that was supposed to be special. More Here...
Source: http://www.datingish.com/706345305/how-pr0n-affected-my-relationship/
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